Relationship Memory

The problem

I know a lot of people. Twenty years of running businesses, communities, and partnerships means my contact list is deep. My memory isn’t.

I’d walk into a meeting and blank on whether we’d talked last month or last year. I’d mean to follow up with someone after a conference and forget by Tuesday. I’d promise to introduce two people and then never make the connection.

The relationships were real. My systems for maintaining them were not.

What I tried

CRMs felt like I was managing customers, not humans. Spreadsheets lasted a week. “Reach out to 5 people a day” routines burned out by day three - because I was spending all my energy deciding who to reach out to instead of actually reaching out.

How Andy handles it

Every person I interact with gets a relationship dossier - automatically. When I email someone, Andy captures context. When I have a meeting, the prep brief pulls from the dossier. When someone goes quiet for too long, Andy surfaces it before I forget.

What a dossier tracks:

  • Last interaction and what we talked about
  • Promises I made (and whether I kept them)
  • How we met and who connected us
  • Shared projects, interests, and context
  • Communication patterns: how often we talk, which medium they prefer

What Andy does with it:

  • Pre-meeting briefs with full relationship history
  • Warming alerts when a relationship is going cold
  • Follow-up drafts that reference our actual conversation
  • Introduction suggestions based on shared context

The result

597 relationship dossiers. Always current. I don’t maintain any of them manually.

The people I care about hear from me at the right time - not because I set a reminder, but because the system understands the rhythm of each relationship and surfaces what matters.

The most common response I get: “Wow, I can’t believe you remembered that.”

I didn’t. Andy did.

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